Meeting Ann

As I have said before, I wasn't always an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints (mormons). I listened to the teachings but was rarely interested in living it because I was more into myself than what God wanted of me.

 We moved from Glendale, CA to Arcata, CA just before my senior year of high school. We'd lived there before when I was a kid but it was still a tough adjustment to be there again. Towards the end of my senior year of high school, I met a boy who I was drawn to like a moth to a flame. We dated for a year. He was so nice and we loved so many of the same things. There are only two reasons why I'm not with him today 1) I knew in the long run, we'd end up not together once he decided he'd choose to live an alternative lifestyle (gay). I knew he was from the day we met. -and 2) I kept feeling a strong pull to become more spiritual and I kept denying it so I could be with him. Both those reasons I knew we had to break up our relationship.

I had just graduated from high school ( 1992) when I decided to go to LDS girls summer camp for the last time. Back then, camp lasted a full week. I felt it would be kind of the last activity before becoming a full fledged adult. I'd been intimately involved with my boyfriend since graduation night and I suddenly felt worlds away from all the girls there. I hadn't realized how much I'd grown away from all of the youthfulness and become an adult already until I was there. Camp was so fun though. It was there I met Ann. I hadn't seen her there in all the previous years and she seemed so lonely.Turns out she'd recently moved to the area and didn't know anyone yet. Since I felt so apart from all the other girls I knew, I chose to spend my days at camp with Ann. We had a blast and giggled so much. It had been well over a year since I'd felt that kind of camaraderie with girls. We exchanged info the last day of camp and I didn't give her a second thought after that. My life became all about my boyfriend. We were so wrapped up in each other. I loved him so much it hurt to think we might not always be together. I know he felt the same way because even years later he told me so. Just as a side note, he has been happily involved with his boyfriend these last 15 years and I am happily with my husband for 12. Funny how life turns out. 

Anyway, I met Ann again that following February. My brother had convinced me and my boyfriend to attend a Valentine's Day church dance for young single adults. By that time I had quit going to church at all. While there, this redheaded young women comes bounding over to me like she's tigger all excited yelling my name. I'm like, "what the?" I'd been so involved with my life, I'd forgotten her completely. Literally. She's telling me how she didn't realize I was Josh's sister and how she had been looking for me and how she really wanted to get together sometime soon to hang out. -and all the while I couldn't remember how the heck I knew her and wondered why she was acting like she knew me so well.Even after she referenced camp,  I was baffled but I was nice about it. After the dance, I again didn't give her a second thought. 

Although I'd never been actively in the church, I still felt that being intimate with my boyfriend was a sin and the longer we were together, the more I felt it. I was so torn with my feelings for him and feelings of virtue at odds all the time. By June we'd been together for a more than a year and I was a spiritual mess. I talked to him about how I felt and although it tore us both up, we parted. 

Break-ups are never easy. We both suffered a great deal and yet we both ended feeling it was for the best. He began to explore who he was with out me and I did the same with out him. I turned to the Lord. After much reading and learning of other churches, I came to the conclusion both logically and spiritually that being a Mormon was the absolute right thing. I began to read scriptures (as described in a previous blog post) and intermittently attend church with my family. 

Not long after my break-up it was announced that a singles branch was to be formed for all the young single adults to attend church for the whole Humboldt County area to attend. I decided to be part of that and started going there but not every week. It was such a huge change for me to go every week so I didn't -it was a bit difficult at first. I wouldn't say I felt unworthy but just so different from everyone there. Of course, who did I meet that first day I attended services? Ann. This time I remembered her. Her out reached hand of friendship was like a life saver thrown to a drowning person. I felt so out of my element there and here she was, a familiar face, ready and willing to be my friend. 

During my infancy of spirituality, she was there to guide me through and teach me how to be an active member of the church. I also met another young woman whom I bonded with during those early days, Candy. Between them both and through the guidance of our Heavenly Father, I became a stronger person both temporally and spiritually. A few years later, all three of us went on a mission within a month of each other. We served in different areas of the country but remained close through letters. 

All these years later, we all live in three different states and we are all still friends. I am still quite close with Ann. She is my best friend. Today is her birthday. I am filled with joy and gratitude to still have her in my life. 

Ann, you are amazing. Thank you for being there when I needed you most and for never giving up on me and for remaining so true.  I love you my sweet sister. I hope you have a lovely birthday.