Day Care

I love my job. I also love having the weekend off. Watching 8 children Monday through Friday is rewarding but it is definitely work. I can appreciate and am in awe of parents who have that many or more kids. They don't get time off. Being a parent is 24/7. I may love the kids but caring for them also causes me to appreciate having only one at the end of the day. I wouldn't mind having one or two more but no more than that. Daycare is enough. It fulfills that desire in me I once had to have 6 kids. I love to watch them physically and mentally grow. They are so amazing. I think being their care provider is a gift. It is amazing to be given the chance to watch them teach each other and discover things on their own and meet each milestone-holding their own bottle, crawling, talking, walking, running, playing and the list goes on.

Shopping

Hello, my name is Amanda and I am a shopaholic. It all started with a pack of gum as a child and then I moved on to quarter toy dispenser which of course led to the harder stuff. I am in recovery. I had it really bad in my late teens and early twenties. I wasn't allowed to leave on a mission at 21 until I paid off my 3 maxed out credit cards. By age 23 I achieved that goal and am doing much better. As time goes on I do backslide or 'fall off the wagon' from time to time. I recently had a bout of regression and then the bill came to bring me back to my senses. Some people eat, I shop. Sigh.

Anyway, I do feel better after a mini shopping spree this morning. I kept it simple, I went to Costco and bought some various snacks for the daycare. Somehow, such a simple thing, even though necessary, helped me feel better. Going through the isles' looking at things, thinking about what to choose and then making the choices is what does it for me. It's when I go for the frivolous purchases I get into trouble. I am lucky to have a hubby who doesn't freak out (too much) and is supportive and can reasonably talk me out of stuff. I believe it is rooted in the denial of getting stuff because we were so very, very poor when growing up. It will be a struggle all my life. Budgeting is not my forte but I am getting better.

Frustration

I hate divorce. It brings out the worst in people. When I was a nanny, I lived with a couple who seemed on a fast track to divorce-land. It made life pretty uncomfortable when they were home and eventually led to me leaving (I still miss those kids so much). It took them a couple more years to actually get to it. Anyway, I currently have in my home based daycare a little girl with parents that had their divorce finalized a couple of weeks ago. She has never been one to follow directions and I sometimes wondered if she may have been developmentally delayed because of it or maybe even a little deaf or she just out right would just ignore me. Well this morning I put this 18 month old little girl in time out (for the first time) for tearing a page out of a story book. I was in my room at the time of the incident because I was finishing getting ready for the day. I could hear something was going on and her brother told me what happened. I asked her to come over to me twice and then had to go to her and firmly take her by the hand to lead her over to the corner. Her older brother (an 8 year old) seemed visibly upset that his baby sister was crying so hard. Her brother tried to hug her as I put her in time out to comfort her. I wouldn't let him and told him she has to learn that she cannot do whatever she wants and get a hug for it. He then told me she gets to do what she wants at their house and doesn't get in trouble and if she cries and they give her whatever she wants. I have witnessed their mother giving in too (I think she is a good mom but has no heart for discipline) She stood in time out for no more than one minute and then I asked her to come over to me. This time she did. I was down at her level and looked her in the eyes and explained to her that she should not rip pages out of books and she should come to me when I ask her to and that is why she was in time out. Then I asked her to tell me sorry-she doesn't talk clearly all the time yet so she leaned over to me and gave me a big hug. My heart melted and I told her she was a good girl but shouldn't do that sort of stuff. Her brother stilled seemed very upset so I told him that he could then hug her. She went to him and sniffed a lot and then came back to me for another hug and then sat with him until he had to leave for school. He was so sweet with her -hugging and kissing her and singing a Bob Marley song to her. I told him he was being a good big brother. When her mom came to pick her up I told her about putting baby girl in time out and mom said she had had to do the same a couple of times already also recently. ( at the time of pick up I couldn't remember details because it was just another part of the day) After all the kids were gone I was cleaning up the living room and came across the torn book and then remember what happened in further detail. I am frustrated because it seems the big brother told his mom and former step-father, father to baby sister,that I picked her up by the hand off the ground and tossed her into the corner and made her cry.Oh geez. Exaggerate much? So then her dad comes over this evening to talk to me about it. I am fine with parents coming over to voice their concerns. I actually welcome it because I feel it is good to get feedback from parents so they can learn and I can learn how to best teach, guide and care for their child so that everyone is happy. I told him as much and offered to call him if he wanted to let him know when discipline and stuff happens and he told me that wouldn't be necessary (he also expressed that he felt she is too young for any form of discipline and I told him I disagreed and told him it was the first time I had put her in time out), that he would just talk to her mother about things. What bothers me is it seemed that big brother overreacted and then I am accused of some form of abuse... or is dad looking for a way to get at mom for leaving him? I have no idea. By the end of my conversation with the dad I felt he understood my side and he said step-son did have a way of making more of things than they really are which irritated me with him and the boy but he's only 8...right? So, I am frustrated. Anyway, I just needed to vent so I am writing it out.

I totally love the kids in my daycare. I may use a firm voice but I would not do something to harm those kids....

Well, as I was typing this the little baby girl's grandpa just called (mother's father). Apparently I will no longer be caring for little girl. He asked for next week's payment back but I told him no because I was not given 2 weeks notice. It is in the policies I give parents (that they sign) that I don't give refunds. The dad gave the mom a very hard time tonight about what happened. Perhaps this is for the best. Too bad the mom couldn't talk to me herself. She probably feels bad about the situation. I am sure she is the type that feels uncomfortable with any form of confrontation. I was proud of her for standing up to her overbearing husband and divorcing him. He mistreated her and her son and coddled the little girl.

Oh well. Life moves on. After writing this all out I feel calm and saddened at the turn out but okay with it. May they all be blessed with a brighter future.